The Good and the Bad

I've been struggling the last few days, wondering how to write another post, because there are many different things I could write about. So how do I write without sounding jumbled? I still haven't come up with any kind of solution. Just bear with me.

The last few days of Bryan's break have been slow and wonderful. A much needed rejuvenation for all of us, including the kids. Spending every day with their daddy has been a special treat, and I'm sad to see the end is here already. When Bryan isn't writing a paper or waxing up some teeth, we are wandering around the toy section of various stores, letting our kids let loose a bit. We spent time looking at all of the lizards, birds, turtles, hamsters, and fish at the pet store while Daddy was getting a haircut. The four of us hang out together having tickle fights and playing hide and seek. There's no doubt about it: we love having Daddy home with us.

The only blemish in our great week, was actually a pretty horrible and traumatizing thing for me. And little Alex of course. I was making dinner Thursday night when I heard, "thump, THUMP, THUMP, THUMP, THUMP, thump, BAM! silence." Within a 3 or 4 second time frame, my heart stopped, I pieced together, "The stairs. The door to the stairs is open. That was Alex falling," and I flew through the room and around the corner to see my poor baby boy looking up from the second to the bottom stair, and his daddy (who had flown just ahead of me), scooping him up just as Alex began to scream and sob. I cried too, as we looked him over for any damage. He, thank God, is just fine.


He was shaken up of course, but other than a big goose egg on his head, he was okay. In fact, the little tumbler was running around and laughing less than half an hour after the fall. I, on the other hand, was a wreck all night. I laid in bed for a few hours after everyone else fell asleep, with horrible imaginary images of my little boy falling. Scariest moment of my parenting life, by far. And you better believe, I will never forget to check that door. Ever again.

                                                                                   
                                                                                   

The bump doesn't show up that well in the pictures, but it was big and sad. It's all gone now, though. Just a tiny bruise left. Poor baby. I have this immense relief that it was nothing worse, and I hold him a little bit tighter now. Which, I'm happy to say, he doesn't mind.

 

I Need a Break

Anyone who knows me, knows that I've been dealt a crappy immune system. I call myself defective and joke that because I am the youngest of seven kids, I got the leftovers of health. My greatest challenges in life have been physical. For example:

At six weeks old, my entire tiny body (rather, my large body. I was almost ten pounds at birth) broke out in horrible hives due to an allergy to my formula.

In elementary school, I got Valley Fever, putting me out of commission for about three months or so.

In high school, I was in a car wreck that broke my pelvis in several places, leaving me completely bed ridden and dependent on others for everything.

Just after high school, I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis. I had been losing around half a cup of blood a day for almost a year. That's the equivalent of giving blood every four days or so. My doctor didn't understand how I was alive at that point.

After giving birth to Alex, I wouldn't stop bleeding. Bryan came to check on me in the hospital bathroom, and said it looked like a scene from a horror movie. There was blood everywhere. He came in just in time to catch me as I fainted. I then enjoyed a nice blood transfusion, which of course I had a reaction to.

Anyway. With these things and many others happening, I've kind of resigned myself to a fate of Ill-health. But these last few weeks have been ridiculous. It started with an ear infection (which I have chronically). Then, my tooth that I really need a root canal on -but haven't yet because of money - became infected (again), leaving me with lots of pain and a swollen face. Before that cleared up, I caught some kind of chest cold, leaving me with no voice and a bad cough. And now, just as I'm starting to get over my cold, I came in contact with something that I am apparently allergic to, and got a nasty reaction to it. Two nights ago, I started itching and swelling everywhere. We only had children's benadryl in the house, but I drank some anyway. It helped a little, but the next morning, I woke up looking like WIll SmIth in HItch. We bought some adult benadryl, and I've been faithfully taking it every four hours. I'm slowly getting better, but I'm still pretty swollen in my arms, hands, knees, and feet. Red, itchy, and extremely painful big welts all over, I am not a pretty picture. Here's to hoping it goes away very, very soon.

I know we all have our different trials, and I wouldn't trade my life with anyone else's. But during weeks like these, I certainly wish for a little bit of a break. One good thing though, is that it makes me very grateful for the times that I am healthy and strong.

Gosh, if all you know about me is my last few posts, I sure sound like a downer, don't I? I assure you, I love my life. I've just been recording the latest events, and they all seem pretty depressive. I'll work on telling and showing the wonderful parts of my life, because there is much to share!